


Just hold me until the lights fade out

by moonflows



Series: with love [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, commission, first ateez fic ;-;, i really suck at tagging wow, juST implied ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23576371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflows/pseuds/moonflows
Summary: Hongjoong never believed in soulmates.Seonghwa learned to wait for his soulmate to comeAnd while he waited, Hongjoong stayed by Seonghwa’s side.my love was made just for you
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: with love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852828
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	Just hold me until the lights fade out

**Author's Note:**

> _for:[ cath. ](https://twitter.com/strwbrryjoongie)_   
>  _it's my first ateez fic and i hope you like it!_

Seonghwa waited. 

He waited for the lights in the living room to shut off, indicating that his roommate, Wooyoung, had finally gone to bed after doing his tasks. He waited for thirty more minutes, making sure that Wooyoung had drifted off to sleep before leaving the apartment at exactly _12:30_ in the middle of the night to catch the last bus passing by the station near his apartment. 

It wasn’t unusual for someone to be riding the bus that late on a Saturday night. The bus wasn’t full but it wasn’t that empty with four people one seat apart, all admiring the busy street where the nightlife was still alive. Seonghwa was one of those people who took a seat by the window where all he could see were the neon lights shining bright and very inviting to look at.

He waited for his chance to press the red button for the bus to stop at the station near his destination. Tapping his card out, he thanked the bus driver before he got off the bus, feeling the strong breeze of night. 

His destination wasn’t far from the stop. Passing by a dead street only lit by the lamppost, Seonghwa continued to walk. It was a residential area without any entertainment around.

Seonghwa goes to this place enough to remember every corner of the street. He could tell how far or how close it is from another point of place. He could tell how many more steps he needs before he would arrive at the building where his destination lies.

It was a well-secured building but he knew the passcode on the entrance even though it was replaced every week. Pressing on the numbers of the code of the day, the sliding door unlocked giving him access to the building. 

He waited for the lift to open on the ground level. Seonghwa pressed on the 11th floor and he waited for the lift to go up, his destination nearing with every second that passed.

A sound was heard when the lift came to a stop. It was faster than he expected but then again, who would be awake in the middle of the night for the lift to stop on floors except for him? 

Seonghwa could read the numbers _1107_ on the door. The destination was at its warmest. Though he knows the door code, he chose to wait and ring the doorbell. 

He waited for the door to open and when it did, he knew he had finally arrived.

“You’re earlier than expected,” the brunette in front of him spoke before walking back inside, leaving the door open for him to come inside.

Seonghwa removed his shoes and hung his jacket by the coat rack before entering the apartment, “Wooyoung went to bed earlier than expected.” 

“I see,” he hummed, tapping the seat next to him on the couch. Seonghwa made his way there before letting himself fall into the arms of the other, “What made you come here tonight?” 

_Just because_. Seonghwa wanted to answer but Hongjoong probably knew that already. 

Instead of answering, his hands made its way to the other’s neck, pulling him close enough to capture his lips against his own. No other words were needed as Hongjoong was quick to respond to his kiss, letting Seonghwa leave no space left in between them as he wrapped his legs around Hongjoong. 

Seonghwa felt a cold touch against his skin, exploring his entire body the way he had wanted him to. Leaving soft kisses from his lips down to his neck. 

It didn’t take that long before all of their clothes were discarded as they moved to the room. The two of them bare, bodies fully exposed to each other. Hands and lips remembering how the other felt against their touch, memorising each part of the other’s body. High on the feeling of being complete _even just for tonight_.

Seonghwa couldn’t remember how he ended up laying on his back against the black sheets, a man holding him down with kisses and touch that made him feel wanted. It happened so fast as if they both knew what the other needed. Kissing the places that want to be kissed. Touching the places that want to be touched. Holding the person who wants to be held. 

Seonghwa doesn’t need to know what happened before and how he got to where he is right now, but he surely knows what happens next. 

_“Hwa,”_ Hongjoong groaned as his hands grip tight on his waist, leaving marks as he closes every last inch of space there was between him and Seonghwa, “I’m close,” 

And Seonghwa could feel it too. He could feel himself on the edge of his own high. His heavy breaths, unable to keep up with the rhythm of the other’s. 

A few more thrusts before he came. A few more thrusts before the other came. 

His eyes were closed, the euphoric feeling still overwhelming him. But he knew that Hongjoong opened the bedside drawer to claim some wet tissue to clean them both before he fell next to him. 

Hongjoong's arm slowly made its way to Seonghwa’s body, wrapping him in a warm embrace, kissing the back of his shoulder where his unfulfilled soulmate mark rests. He whispers a quiet goodnight before the two of them fall into deep slumber.

And before the sun was even up, Seonghwa was already on his way back to his own apartment.

It was a pattern— a repeating cycle that Seonghwa had probably memorised by now. It was like a circle that had no end. Except, Seonghwa knew there might be an end. 

When Seonghwa knew that life has its own pattern, he tried his best to figure it out so he could live it at his best. 

Every human starts with being born with a clean slate. It was a time when fate was probably mixing the pattern of that person’s life, putting in some good and bad scenarios that would determine that person’s story. Not every pattern was the same but there was a sign whether you were going to the right point in life. 

A heart would appear somewhere on a person’s body when you turn eighteen— except, that heart isn’t full. It was only half a heart that was yet to be filled by a soulmate. The next points of the pattern would simply be the heart being completed and the same goes with your life until it ends. A person’s life would feel complete until it ends. 

Seonghwa’s soulmate mark lays on the back of his right shoulder, a half heart waiting to be filled. He was one to have always believed in soulmates, looking for the person that would finally complete him. 

But even if he tried to understand his own pattern, it never turned out well.

He could always feel his mark hurt whenever he was with someone he took interest in. Be it that person in his film class who brought him to the movies every week just so they could make out in the back of the theatre. Or that person in his art class who he posed nude for in that one project they had. _(which scarred him to death because his professor got curious if that was close to what his body looked like)_

Seonghwa had always felt his soulmate was close. That he would meet that person soon. He was desperate to know who his soulmate was that he had touched and slept with every person he met that made him feel like they were the ones who would complete him. 

But none of them completed Seonghwa. 

It came to a point that Seonghwa thought this soulmate thing was pure bullshit because all of the people around him had met their soulmate except him. Seonghwa made himself believe that this soulmate mark wasn’t real and that his heart would never be complete. 

And it turns out he wasn’t the only one. 

And that was how a new pattern in his life started. 

♡

“Where were you?” was the question that welcomed Seonghwa the moment he stepped into his apartment.

Seonghwa didn’t expect Wooyoung to be awake so early. He knew he left Hongjoong’s place early enough to catch the first bus this morning before the sun was even up, to be home before his roommate woke up. 

“I,” He didn’t know what to say. The tiredness was getting to him. He doesn’t have enough energy to think of an excuse, “I went to Hongjoong’s.” 

“Again?” Wooyoung pushed the conversation. The dark circles evident on both of their eyes from their lack of sleep with different reasons, “Isn’t that the third time this week?”

He groaned at the unexpected interrogation, feeling the exhaustion go up to his head, “I’m stressed, Okay?” He simply says walking past by the couch where Wooyoung waited and straight to his room.

“Do you like him?” 

Seonghwa stopped on his tracks, back facing his roommate before he turned to look at him straight in the eye, “We’re just fuck buddies, you know that right?” 

“Fuck buddies until when? Until one of you meets their soulmate?” Wooyoung curses, concerned for his friend, “Then what? You would be heartbroken because you grew attached to him?”

“A heart couldn’t be broken if it wasn’t complete in the first place.” Seonghwa deeply says, guilty because of how his friend was right. But then again, Seonghwa knew only one of them would meet their soulmate while the other lets his heart get broken by the attachment they both have.

And that wouldn’t be him. 

He ignored whatever Wooyoung had to say next as he walked straight to his room, shutting the door as loud as he could before he plopped on his bed to get more sleep. He was tired, sore, and not ready for an argument that Wooyoung imposes early in the morning. 

The next time he woke up, it was already past lunch time. His body felt more sore because he went a little overboard than he usually would last night and he had his own reasons. 

His soulmate mark had been hurting a lot wherever he went. Seonghwa thought that his soulmate was someone in his classes but he figured out it wasn’t when it started hurting when he was alone. 

Seonghwa told himself he’d give up on this soulmate bullshit and live his life the way he would want. His soulmate would probably come around anytime so he decided to wait and casually fucks around with his friend, Hongjoong, who agreed to such because he was one of those lucky _(could he consider him lucky?)_ people who don't have a soulmate mark.

After taking a quick shower, he went to their kitchen to see food left on the table. Even though he and Wooyoung almost had an argument, Wooyoung still cared for him. He was more than thankful for the younger putting up with all of the bullshit in his life. 

The silence of the apartment made him realise that Wooyoung had probably left to meet up with his friends like he usually does on a Sunday. He was sitting alone in silence, with only his thoughts to entertain him while he scrolled through his phone.

**_From: KHJ_**

_You got home safe?_

He felt the corners of his mouth curve to a small smile before sending a quick yes in response. Hongjoong quickly replied with what he was planning to do for the day and the conversation flowed so naturally whenever they simply talked to each other, no libidos involved. 

When Seonghwa first met Hongjoong, it was at a party that Wooyoung forced him to go to. In fact, Wooyoung was the one who introduced him to the other as a companion for the night because he left Seonghwa alone to look for his soulmate, San. What Wooyoung didn’t know was that they would easily click with each other because they both believed that soulmates were shit.

Hongjoong never believed in soulmates because no mark appeared on his body when he turned eighteen. No matter how long his eighteenth year of living had passed, he lost hope when he turned nineteen. He was one of those people who was born without a soulmate. It was possible because not all patterns were made perfectly. Hongjoong was one of those people and he knew he was bound to accept his fate. Seonghwa wished he was one of them too since he got his heart broken too many times believing that every person he meets would complete his heart. 

Hongjoong never believed in soulmates.

Seonghwa learned to wait for his soulmate to come 

And while he waited, Hongjoong stayed by Seonghwa’s side. 

It was a miserable pattern they both had. A heart waiting to be filled and a heart that didn’t even appear. Hongjoong doesn’t know what to expect more from life and Seonghwa got tired of waiting. So they both made their own pattern.

A new pattern acted upon from lust and intoxication. 

It always starts with a one night stand. A drunken mistake that was promised to never happen again. But for some reason, Seonghwa found the comfort in Hongjoong’s arms. Forgetting every heartbreak he’d experience from hoping that the next person he falls for would be his soulmate. Knowing what it feels like to be complete with just a touch but not really by heart. 

_“Let’s be fuck buddies, then.”_ Hongjoong said almost three months ago. The words still lingering in Seonghwa’s head as if it was a new memory, _“It’s not like I have a soulmate anyway. Once you meet yours, we stop. No strings attached. That easy.”_

At first, Seonghwa thought he was crazy. How could he say something like that? The entire idea sounds impossible because there’s no way this kind of relationship wouldn’t end with either of them falling. Before they even start, he could already feel that Hongjoong would be the one to be heartbroken because the moment Seonghwa meets his soulmate, Hongjoong has no option but to let him go. 

_“No one would get attached,”_ Seonghwa cleared out, still doubting the idea but at the same time wanting the other to be closer than ever to him, _“Let’s be honest with each other. Don’t fall in love with me.”_

 _“I don’t get attached,”_ Hongjoong looked at him with truthful eyes. Seonghwa wanted to believe him but the only thing that came to his mind was how Hongjoong said he never believed in soulmates. He was firm on that but not once did he say he never believed in love. 

But Seonghwa still agreed. Since then, Hongjoong became a call away. They still kept the friendship they had before it all happened, appreciating each moment spent with the other. But when either of them utters the words _I need you,_ they both know they’d be holding each other until the night ends.

♡

The following morning, Seonghwa woke up early to get ready to meet up with his friend, Yeosang, for a project they were paired to do so. Seonghwa could feel the final wave of the semester hit him back to shore. He had been so busy in the past week to not even be bothered by the recurring pain on his shoulder. 

It hasn’t stopped. It reached a point where he would cry himself to sleep because of the unbearable pain. It felt like sharp needles going through the veins under his skin, hitting every nerve there was to make Seonghwa feel the physical pain. 

Searching the words “ _my soulmate mark hurts, what does it mean?_ ” doesn’t even help one bit with the comfort because all there was were explanations that maybe your soulmate was in critical condition or maybe they had died. There were other explanations saying that maybe your soulmate was in love with someone that wasn’t you. 

To say Seonghwa was scared was an understatement. He was terrified because he doesn’t know what was going on with his body. Everyday he would look at it because he was scared that one day his mark would no longer be there. As much as he hates this soulmate system, he didn’t want to end up like Hongjoong who doesn’t have a soulmate.

No one could ever explain what was happening to his mark. Not even the gods who made them because they would never answer his cries. He was stuck with bearing the pain in the middle of a café while he attempted to finish the work needed to be done.

He let out a deep sigh making Yeosang tap his hand, “Are you okay?” He asks, a look of concern painted on his face. He sounded worried. Seonghwa looked up and gave him a reassuring smile, “Page 24. That chapter is easier to analyse.”

“I can work fine,” He replied, rubbing the back of his shoulder before he stretched his arms out, “See? A little stretch is enough.”

“Wooyoung told me your mark was hurting,” There was silence. “Hyung,” the younger said with a serious tone, “It’s normal. Mine had been hurting a lot lately too.”

Seonghwa froze, staring at Yeosang seriously. There was only one idea that came to his head and he couldn’t help but think, _is Yeosang my soulmate?_. 

“Y-Yeo…” He breathed out nervously, “W-What are you saying?”

Yeosang raised an eyebrow, fazed at the other’s reaction. Seonghwa could feel his throat become dry from anticipating the answer of the other, “Maybe our soulmate is somewhere near. I don’t know.” He casually says. Yeosang saw how Seonghwa’s expression became worse than it was and that was when it clicked to Yeosang, “Ah hyung, I’m not saying we might be each other’s soulmate.”

Both were quick to retract their hands off the table to avoid contact as much as possible. The soulmate mark usually changes when they’ve made physical contact with their soulmate. That's why it wasn’t a normal thing to touch people who still haven’t met their soulmate. 

“I don’t want to risk it,” Yeosang says under his breath. Seonghwa was quick to whisper: _me too_ , “It’s not that I don’t want you to be my soulmate but if ever you would be my soulmate, I think it’s unfair for you since I’m interested in someone else right now.” 

“Me too,” Seonghwa repeated unconsciously, not knowing where that answer came from but he said it. “I mean,” He stopped thinking for a moment, realising his mouth had said something he doesn’t even know, “I think I like someone too.” 

“My mark itches when I’m around him too, that’s why I’m not too sure about this,” Yeosang clears, “If that makes this situation a little better.” 

Seonghwa could only nod, hoping that his mark would bother him whenever he would be with Hongjoong. 

They went back to doing their tasks, the conversation about soulmates passed their minds. They stayed there for the entire morning before they went back to the campus to attend their classes. 

Seonghwa’s mind was lost and couldn’t focus on what his professor was talking about. He purposely sat at the back of the lecture hall so he wouldn’t get noticed that he was not listening. 

The idea of Yeosang being his soulmate flooded his mind. He didn’t have to tell Seonghwa that his mark was hurting, but he did. Yeosang was so close to Wooyoung that he probably had mentioned his pain to him and Wooyoung recalled that Seonghwa’s mark was hurting as well. The possibility that Yeosang is his soulmate became higher when Seonghwa’s heart raced at the mention of their marks at the café earlier. 

_Could Yeosang really be his soulmate? Is the waiting finally over?_ Seonghwa thinks. He thinks hard that he suddenly remembered Hongjoong. 

He needs to tell Hongjoong.

And as if Hongjoong heard his mind, Seonghwa’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He quietly took it out, checking the message he had received.

**_From: KHJ_**

_Can we meet after your last class?_

Seonghwa thought it was too soon to spend another night with Hongjoong. But then he didn’t want to reject the request especially when Hongjoong had always been there whenever Seonghwa would need him. 

**_PSH:_ ** _i’ll be at your apartment before dinner._

 **_KHJ:_** _wait no_

 **_KHJ:_** _not that._

 **_PSH:_ ** _….. ?_

 **_KHJ:_ ** _just meet me at the café near the campus after your class_

 **_PSH:_ ** _okay._

For a moment, Seonghwa’s mind was filled with curiosity of what Hongjoong’s reason might be for them meeting up. It’s not like it wasn’t unusual. They would normally go out and hang out with each other whenever they’re bored. Seonghwa would usually hang around Hongjoong’s apartment to watch movies whenever they weren’t in the mood of having sex. As much as the thought bothered Seonghwa, he tried his best to keep his focus back in class with the comfort of the idea of meeting Hongjoong later. All he needed to do was to wait.

Seonghwa waited again.

He waited for the professor to finish talking about the final project that they needed to pass next week. Though he wants to whine at how difficult the task was, he’d rather deal with it later as his mind was focused on waiting for the class to end. 

When the long and tiring three hour class had ended, he waited for the first few rows in front of him to get out of the hall before it was his turn. There was a line on the way to the exit because they were asked to pass the task given to them last week. When it was his turn, he handed his folder and said a quiet thank you to his professor.

The cool air of the outside world welcomed him when he finally got out of the building. Seonghwa breathed it in deeply, his chest feeling lighter than ever. There were a lot of people outside the building. It was a common time for students to leave their classes. Walking the same direction where Seonghwa was going. 

The cafe wasn’t that far from his side of the university. He was worried for a moment because it seemed like most of the people were on the same route he was going, perhaps on their way to the café as well. 

His destination nears with every step he takes. The anticipation of meeting his friend, preparing the words he would want to say since the morning he met up with Yeosang. Hongjoong was the first person he wanted to tell that he may have met his soulmate. Though he wasn’t sure, it was something new that had happened in the last three months of waiting for his soulmate. 

He could see the café not too far. There weren't a lot of people seen from the glass window than he had expected. Perhaps not a lot of people decided to visit the café today. 

When he had arrived, he saw Hongjoong raise a hand, waving him over to where he was seated. He waved back, smiling, as he walked towards his seat, “Classes done for the day?” Seonghwa asked as he took a seat across the other. 

Hongjoong hummed a response, handing over the coffee he had bought for him, “I just need to finish a few reports but I’ll probably do that at home.” 

“I see…” Seonghwa nods at him, feeling the nervousness rise up to his throat, unable to speak up, “So, why did you call to meet up?” 

Seonghwa admired the features of the other while he waited for him to answer. The way his soft lips parted to speak, eyes looking directly to his, “Just because.” He shrugged very awkwardly.

“I don’t buy that.”

Hongjoong ignored his response, handing him a fork for the piece of cake that he had bought, “Can’t I simply ask a friend out for coffee?”

Seonghwa hummed, brushing off the conversation because it was obvious that Hongjoong wouldn’t answer what he asked about. He took the fork from the other to take a bite of the cake. “I actually have something to say,” Hongjoong spoke.

He could see how Hongjoong’s features quickly changed. His face became more serious and Seonghwa could feel his nerves from his seat. Hongjoong tried to look anywhere except Seonghwa’s eyes. He stared at his hands resting on the table, the people next to their table but he knew eventually he had to look at Seonghwa’s eyes and when he did, the anticipation rose between them.

“We should stop this.” Hongjoong finally says, voice a little hoarse as he forced himself to say those words. 

“We should stop this?” Seonghwa repeated in a questioning tone, “What do you mean?”

“A mark appeared on my body.” 

It wasn’t what Seonghwa expected. He thought that maybe Hongjoong got tired of him but that wasn’t the case. Hongjoong tried to avoid eye contact as much as he could. He couldn’t look him in the eye. It wasn’t part of their plan. He wasn’t supposed to have a soulmate but somehow he did.

Seonghwa doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel anything. He knows he should be happy for him but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t feel anything at all. 

“That’s great?” He tried to say, “I don’t understand why we need to stop though?”

Hongjoong finally looks at Seonghwa and his eyebrows meet in confusion, “Why not?” 

“I have a soulmate too and I have no issue with fucking around with you?” Seonghwa argued, not knowing where these words came from. Perhaps his feelings doing the talking and his brain just not holding back, “What difference would it make if you have a soulmate?”

“Did you not understand what I just said?” Hongjoong fumed, getting angry suddenly. “I just had a soulmate mark appear on my body three years late. What can’t you understand from that?” 

“That you want to stop fucking just because you have a soulmate now?” Seonghwa bites back, “I have a soulmate too. What does that make me then?” 

“Nothing,” Hongjoong said, “You’re just another person with a soulmate.”

Seonghwa could’ve left him right now in this café because of how confused he was at the way Hongjoong was suddenly acting just because he now has a soulmate.

“I really don’t understand, Joong,” Seonghwa tried to keep himself from shouting, “You’re the one who proposed this bullshit, how could you be the one to end it?” 

“Maybe because I finally have a soulmate and would want to meet them in the best way possible.” Hongjoong snapped, bringing some senses back to Seonghwa’s head.

And Seonghwa realised he was being selfish. That all this time he was a selfish fuck who thought about no one else but himself meeting his soulmate. That he was just using Hongjoong to pleasure himself because he hasn't met his soulmate yet and Hongjoong doesn’t have one.

And now Hongjoong has a soulmate, Seonghwa is the one who has to let Hongjoong go. Because all Hongjoong wanted was to feel what it was like to have a soulmate. Something he hasn't felt before.

This wasn’t part of the plan. This wasn’t part of the pattern. But then again, they just made it up. The pattern they made isn’t the pattern that would happen. Their lives would still follow whatever fate had planned for them. 

Seonghwa could feel his heart ache. It hurts more than the pain on the back of his shoulder because for one, he really did get attached to Hongjoong. He was being selfish because at some point in his life, he wanted Hongjoong to be his if ever he’s not meant to meet his soulmate. 

He wanted Hongjoong more than the desires that they shared. He doesn’t only want to have him inside of him. Seonghwa wants to hold his hand, kiss his cheeks, go out on cheesy dates because just those simple touches makes him feel complete. Hongjoong wasn’t his soulmate but Seonghwa feels complete.

To Seonghwa, it had been more than a libido. He hates that it took Hongjoong to have an actual soulmate before he realises that. 

And once again, Seonghwa’s heart is broken wishing he was Hongjoong’s soulmate instead. It was his pattern. To get his heart broken by people he thinks his soulmate but wasn’t. It’s an endless cycle and all he could do was to wait until it finally ends.

“Okay,” was all Seonghwa could say, eyes brimming with tears he tries to hold back, “Good luck finding your soulmate then.” 

He finally stood up from his seat, Hongjoong calling out his name, “Hwa _,_ don’t be like this,” 

“I’m sorry I got attached,” was the last words that came out from Seonghwa’s mouth before he walked out of the café, tears streaming down his face. 

♡

In the first few days, it was nothing. Seonghwa didn’t mind. It was his fault he got attached. Him being broken was nothing new. It happens all the time and he tried to make himself believe that Hongjoong wasn’t any different.

When Wooyoung started to notice the way he was acting, he was ready to hear the _I told you so’s_ that he had been keeping for a while now. But instead, he stayed silent and cuddled Seonghwa, “I didn’t know you liked Yeosang.” Wooyoung whispers, his hand playing with his hair, “I really thought you two were soulmates.”

Seonghwa’s head snapped, “Yeosang?” He asked, remembering that Yeosang existed as his possible soulmate, “What do you mean you thought?”

“You don’t know that he met his soulmate?” Wooyoung raised an eyebrow, confused, thinking that the reason why his Hyung was sulking was because Yeosang wasn’t his soulmate, “You’re not sad because of Yeosang?” 

_Great._ Yeosang met his soulmate at a likely time when he thought that Yeosang could be _his_ soulmate. Seonghwa was ready to call Yeosang when he was reminded of his existence but now– he couldn’t. 

Wooyoung eyed him seriously, waiting for an explanation to come out of his mouth but Seonghwa just cried out exaggeratingly before he spurted out the words that Hongjoong has a soulmate and he grew attached to him. 

“L-Like,” Seonghwa hiccups, “I know you already warned me but I thought he would be the one who would get attached because he doesn’t have a soulmate.”

“But you’re the dumbass,” Wooyoung cooed as Seonghwa glared at him, “Just think of it that these feelings are just sexual desires.” he persuades him into thinking that his feelings weren’t real since every heartbreak he had been through weren’t real. 

It did get to Seonghwa’s head but it was quickly forgotten when Seonghwa tried to sleep, a little intoxicated from the feelings he had been enduring. His soulmate mark aching wasn’t helping and all he could wish was to be in Hongjoong’s arms right now. 

He stared at his phone, waiting for at least a text from Hongjoong. He wanted Hongjoong to talk to him first despite him being the one who left the café not too long ago. 

Seonghwa hasn’t heard from Hongjoong since he left the café. He wanted to respect that so every day, he waited for his phone to vibrate, hoping that the next message he would receive would be from Hongjoong. A “How are you?” would be nice even though it would end up being a small talk. 

Seonghwa waited.

He waited for his phone to light up every night hoping that the new passcode to his building was sent. He waited for him to text a location where they could hang-out even just for a while. 

All his life, all Seonghwa did was wait. 

Seonghwa never stopped waiting for the bus to come. He never stopped waiting for Wooyoung to finish his work late at night. He never stopped waiting for a certain time before he could leave the house to arrive in the perfect time. He never stopped waiting for his soulmate to come because that was the pattern he had to live with. 

But now he wonders, why did he suddenly get tired of waiting? 

Seonghwa doesn’t know if he was drunk or still light headed from the alcohol he and Wooyoung had but he found himself riding the bus in the middle of the night. He sat by the window admiring the neon lights of night life in the city. 

He knew his stop was next when they left the prior stop. He didn’t wait near the destination anymore as he already pressed on the red button when they left the prior stop, indicating that he was going down on the next stop.

And when he got off the familiar stop, he didn’t count his steps anymore. He ran towards the well-secured building because he didn’t want to wait anymore. 

Seonghwa took out his phone and called a number he didn’t expect he’d be calling first. It took a few rings before the other line had answered, _“Hwa?”_

“What’s the passcode?” Seonghwa sleepily said, “I’m outside.”

 _“W-What?”_ He could hear Hongjoong’s surprise through the call but he didn’t mind. He knew he would be surprised.

“Passcode. Now.”

 _“1024.”_ He says and when he heard what he needed, he ended the call, jabbing the code before the glass doors opened. 

He doesn’t know if it was fate that someone else had arrived before him. That the person living in this building saw him and waited for him by the lift so that he could get on it as well. Seonghwa murmured a _thank you_ to the stranger who seemed to live on the same floor of his destination, so he just got on the lift that brought him to his floor. 

When the lift came to a stop, the stranger let him get out first, probably noticing he was in a rush. He ran towards the door that has the numbers _1107_ above and he didn’t even wait anymore. He used the keycode of his door pressing _980403_ , hoping that Hongjoong never changed it. 

It was the first time he used the keycode. Every time he comes to his place, he always rings the doorbell even though Hongjoong had already told him what his code was. He felt triumphant when he heard the door unlocked, a small opening welcoming him.

Seonghwa pushed the door open to see Hongjoong sitting by his couch. He could see the surprised look on his face, not fully expecting Seonghwa to come barging in the middle of the night. 

“I don’t know why I’m here.” He announced, defenseless. All of his senses were left back home. All he knew was he was tired of waiting anymore, “But I promise I would be gone before the sun rises. I just really need you right now.”

With every word that Seonghwa speaks, he could feel his mark hurt. It was probably a reminder that here he goes again, walking towards something that he knew would break his heart. 

Like always, Hongjoong didn’t need to hear anything else. He knew what Seonghwa wanted– _needed._ With open arms, he motioned Seonghwa to come to him, ready to risk everything just for him to be happy. 

Seonghwa didn’t waste any more time as he jumped on Hongjoong lap, kissing his lips, to which Hongjoong responded. He didn’t waste any more time as his hands roamed around Hongjoong’s body, the other doing the same. 

Kissing the places that want to be kissed. Touching the places that want to be touched. Holding the person who wants to be held. Feeling complete with every touch. 

Clothes were quickly discarded, everything seems so rushed but Seonghwa could feel everything so clear as if it was in slow-motion. Hongjoong’s touch was gentle but rough at the same time. It was what Seonghwa needed. Reminding him that fuck, he was fucking him senseless and it feels so good and fuck, he wasn’t Hongjoong’s soulmate.

 _“Ahhhh!”_ Seonghwa moans whenever Hongjoong hits the nerve inside of him. Being completely filled with every inch inside of him. The pleasure and the pain of his mark coming together to make Seonghwa feel every possible emotion he could. 

_“Hwa,”_ Hongjoong groaned as his hands grip tight on his waist, leaving marks as he closes every last inch of space there was between him and Seonghwa. He could see the tears in Seonghwa’s eyes, no matter how gentle he tried to be. 

When they both finished, Seonghwa was still shaking under him, whimpering as every inch of his body hurts, “Please make it stop, “ He cried out, “Please make the pain stop,”

Hongjoong kneels beside him to clean the both of them up before he pulls him into a hug. Whispering comforting words like _I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you._ Seonghwa buries his face in Hongjoong’s neck as he continues to cry, trying to catch his breath. He caresses the back of his head. 

Hongjoong pulls him closer to his lap as he was about to kiss his soulmate mark like he always do. But he stops after seeing a change on the back of Seonghwa’s shoulder, “Y-Your mark…” Hongjoong said, catching the attention of the other.

Seonghwa stopped crying. Everything around him seemed fine, that he just couldn’t catch his breath because of the overwhelming feeling, “Is it gone?” He whispers, pulling away to reach out to the back of his shoulder, the pain suddenly disappeared, “Why am I not feeling anything?” 

Hongjoong couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak either. Seonghwa just waves in front of him, afraid of his reaction. “Joong, what happened?” 

Seonghwa was scared to walk to the nearest mirror to check the back of his shoulder. He could feel his entire world spinning around, waiting for Hongjoong to speak because he doesn’t know what is happening. He was scared that his mark might have disappeared because he let himself do stupid things he shouldn’t be doing in the first place.

Instead of speaking, Hongjoong turned around, his back facing Seonghwa. Seonghwa was confused with what was going on but felt his entire world stop when he saw where Hongjoong’s mark lay.

“Please tell me its a full heart,” Hongjoong could hear his own voice shake as he tries to catch his own breath. 

Seonghwa moves closer to Hongjoong, seeing the mark right before his eyes. He doesn’t know what to feel as his hand made its way to trace the outline of the heart on the back of Hongjoong’s shoulder, “It is,” He whispers, “Is mine complete?” He asks in reassurance, still fazed at what was happening. 

Hongjoong turns to face him, nodding with the biggest smile he could as tears fell from both of their eyes, “You’ve been waiting for me, all this time.” 

And that was when it hit Seonghwa.

The first time he decided to stop waiting was the pattern telling him to go to Hongjoong. He thought he would be leaving before the sun rises with a broken heart but this was his pattern. This was _their_ pattern. 

The moment he met Hongjoong was meant to happen. He was meant to have an agreement with him because in the middle of it, something would happen. He was meant to break down and let his body take him to this place. He was meant to make love with Hongjoong and to stay in his arms until the light fades out. 

Because Seonghwa’s love was made for Hongjoong and Hongjoong’s just came in late. 

“I’ve been waiting for you all this time,” Seonghwa says before he pulls Hongjoong in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for sparing your time in this fic, i'll do my better next time.  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/moonfiows)


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